she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
