either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
