these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize