I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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