Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
