Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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