His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
