I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize