Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
