apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
