You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
