we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
