I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
