I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
