I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
