this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
