Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
