okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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