Michael Bay diarrhea
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
