You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
