i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
