Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
