I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
