Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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