coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
