Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
