his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
