just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
