i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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