Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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