"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
