I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
