DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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