I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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