Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
