if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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