Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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