never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
