I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I smell stomach acid.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
