dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
