I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
