SEEEEXXX PLEASE
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize