Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
