remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
