I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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