are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
