she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
