please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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