She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
