listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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