Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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