There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
