Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
