hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
