My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize