as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
