I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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