Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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