Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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