your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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