Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize