There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
