its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
