he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
