You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
