scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
