I just made out with a guy for $7.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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