As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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