Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
