she woke up with a sticky ear
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
