We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
