the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
