I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
