covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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