your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
