More tranny stories later!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
