Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In America we eat man semen.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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