the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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