thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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