We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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